Action Jackson

So I hate action movies. Or at least I like to think I do. I like to think I'm the sort of person who wears a smoking jacket and reads The Independent whilst eating croissant, when in fact, I'm the sort of person who watches Jackass, whilst wearing a Hawaiian shirt and drinking Jack Daniels. But damn it, I do it like a thinking man! I wont just watch Jackass, I will form a coherent argument about why it is funny, and why you're a snob for not liking it.

So, as much disdain as I hold for 'geezers', I can't seem to separate myself from them in terms of viewership. The realization came to me when I was looking at my DVD collection, expecting to find a myriad of cultured, well thought out movies about the human condition, and instead finding out that, apparently, I am still a 13 year old boy. I started by looking at La Haine, There Will Be Blood, Suzhou River...

And before long, I'm looking at Cloverfield, Resident Evil and Walking Tall*. And the little cultured man in my head tuts loudly as he reaches for his brie. But there is a much louder little man in my head. And as far as I am aware, his name is 'Fuck-You Man'. He knows me. He knows that my brain doesn't want me to enjoy movies like this, but I do. So he forms arguments. He is my speech writer, if you will, and he allows me to operate as a working class snob.

He knows that human beings only have a certain capacity for knowledge and learning, and he knows how to differentiate between art and toss. And to him, art is toss, because it's boring, and at no point in any form of art, does anybody jump a motorcycle off the roof of a skyscraper, into the bad guys living room as he sits down for dinner.

So, bollocks to you art. My name is Craig Vidler, I am working class, and apparently, I am not very proud of it.

*You really should watch Walking Tall. It's 70 minutes of The Rock hitting people with a piece of wood. It's like the physical interpretation of 'Down With The Sickness' by Disturbed. Oh-wa-aa-aa-aa!

THE FUTURRRRRE!

So i quit my job, and I'm only in uni once a week, completing a degree that I'm not sure I actually want or need any more. Unsurprisingly, my brain throws up the question of what I'm going to do. And it's a scary prospect.

And it is BRILLIANT.

For the first time in my life, I really have that feeling of being able to go anywhere and do anything I want. And I love being scared about my future, because it means that my life hasn't been mapped out, I'm not stuck in an office until I'm 65. And with any luck I never will be.

So. I'm 22 years old. I have no job, no car, no house...no responsibilities.

2010 is gonna be pretty f--ing exciting. I'm thinking stand up comic/rock star/pro wrestler. You can call it growing up, I think of it as selling out.

Listen to Ben Harper please.